


Lie to Me (But Please Don't Leave)

by lookingforthestars



Series: Million Pieces [1]
Category: Runaways (TV 2017)
Genre: All Chase POV, But don't worry Chase is still In Love, F/M, Lots of mentions of abuse, More of a friend fic than a romantic fic, Pre-Canon, Sort of AU, text message fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-16
Updated: 2020-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:40:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23166385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lookingforthestars/pseuds/lookingforthestars
Summary: Chase gets Gert back in his life, even if only through text messages. Which would probably be better if she knew it was him.
Relationships: Chase Stein/Gertrude Yorkes
Series: Million Pieces [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1697806
Comments: 7
Kudos: 61





	Lie to Me (But Please Don't Leave)

It _did_ start as a wrong number.

Chase would die on that hill. He was deep into a spiral of self-loathing, desperate to climb out of the gaping hole in his brain, and that called for a distraction. Whether that included alcohol or just inane ramblings about whatever girl Lucas was trying unsuccessfully to score with that week, Chase didn’t really care. He just needed to tune out, generate some noise to crowd out the darker thoughts. So he pulled out his phone and shot the ill-fated text that started this entire mess. _What are you doing right now?_

The reply came within a minute. _Who is this?_

He rolled his eyes. Lucas was such a dick sometimes. _Nikola Tesla, dipshit._

Chase wasn’t entirely sure that Lucas knew who Nikola Tesla was. He slept through most of his classes. Great, now the guys were going to give him shit about showing the slightest hint of actual intelligence.

 _Big fan. Edison was a chump._ That…was not the response he expected. He flicked his eyes to the top of the screen.

Oh, fuck.

Well, if that wasn’t a Freudian slip, he didn’t know what was. Gert’s name was at least three spots above Lucas in his contact list, it wasn’t easy to accidentally click her name, and yet, here he was.

 _Sorry. I think I got the wrong number._ It seemed smarter not to reveal his identity. He’d gotten a new number a few months ago, after some weirdo fan of his father got a hold of the old one, so it made sense that Gert hadn’t recognized it – although he wouldn’t be surprised if she purposely lost his number long before then.

He didn’t lose hers, though. Chase had considered deleting it, quite a few times, but he never followed through. Couldn’t say why – it wasn’t like she would be calling him to hang out any time soon.

_Yeah. I got that vibe. Well, have a good night, Tesla._

Chase bit back a smile, surprising himself. Eleven words, a stupid joke, and he already felt a little lighter. He tossed his phone on the bed, forgetting all about his plans to text Lucas, and set to work tinkering with the Fistigons instead.

* * *

It was only supposed to be a one-time thing.

But his father’s words were ringing loud in his head, _you’re an embarrassment, get out of my sight,_ and Chase couldn’t stop thinking about how much talking to Gert – even anonymously – had calmed his mind, and, well. He was nothing if not weak.

_Hey. It’s Tesla._

It took her longer to respond this time – a few minutes. Enough time for him to wonder if she’d forgotten about their conversation, if she thought he was some kind of stalker, what if, what if, what if.

 _Hi. Wrong number again? You’re bad at this._ Chase chuckled. Even with a complete stranger, she was as witty and sharp as ever. God, he missed her so much sometimes. She used to try to make him laugh, especially when he was in a grouchy mood, not giving up until she got at least a reluctant smile. Her face would light up like she’d accomplished some incredible goal.

_Right number, actually. I could use someone to talk to…someone I don’t know. Is that weird?_

It was weird. It was so, so weird. Was this catfishing? This kind of felt like catfishing. _Yes. But what the hell, I’m not doing anything else. What do you want to talk about?_

 _My dad…_ he typed, and immediately backspaced. Too much personal information and Gert would surely put the pieces together. She was way too smart and way too suspicious. Just tonight, he reminded himself. Just tonight, unless he wanted this whole insane charade to come tumbling down. _Books. Read anything good lately?_

This was a safe topic. Gert was always reading between classes, at lunch, and he wasn’t entirely sure if she was that voracious of a reader or if it was a convenient method of ignoring people. Maybe both. Probably both.

The three dots blinked on his phone for a while, and Chase smirked when he saw her lengthy response. She hadn’t asked him for his real name or volunteered her own, and he thought maybe the anonymity was comforting for her too – like talking into the void, no real sense of gravity, less need for self-consciousness and overthinking and all the other negative bullshit that weighed them down at school, at home, in the real world.

He made a mental note to check out some of the books she’d suggested and responded with an equally lengthy explanation of the book he was halfway through, a history of mechanical engineering. Still safe territory, probably – the Chase she knew wouldn’t be caught dead reading for fun, right? And he’d really only gotten into engineering after everything went to hell, anyway.

The topics turned to movies and podcasts and their favorite spots in California, their best celebrity sightings, the other places they would like to live. She wanted to go to Massachusetts. The thought of her being so far out of reach felt like a punch to the gut, but he didn’t tell her that. He couldn’t tell her that.

It wasn’t until his phone pinged with _It’s late_ that he checked the time and realized it was the longest conversation he’d had with Gert in two years.

_Yeah. Thanks. I needed this._

_It was nice. Good night._

Chase sighed as he set his alarm and clicked off his light, simultaneously thrilled at having Gert back in his life in some strange way and stung by the knowledge that she probably didn’t want that at all.

* * *

He was planning to stick to his vow, keep it a two-time thing – he really was. But then Gert reached out first. _Today sucks. Can we talk about literally anything, so I don’t have to think about it?_

To ignore her felt too much like betraying her trust all over again, and he couldn’t do that. Of course, their trust was built on a pretty shaky foundation, on a moment of impulse, on a lie that was almost definitely going to bite him in the ass later, but. But. Gert needed a friend, and damn if that didn’t feel like the absolute least he could do. _Sure. Hey, you need a nickname, so I have something to call you._

_How about Marie? Like Marie Curie?_

Chase smirked. _Perfect. Okay, Marie, very important question: favorite wrestler?_

He heard Gert’s laugh – her actual, real-life laugh, it wasn’t just his imagination, fuck – and barely managed to slide his phone into his pocket as she walked past him. She was glued to her screen, unaware or uninterested in acknowledging his existence, but she was smiling harder than he’d seen in such a long time. Everything in him ached.

* * *

It happened again, and again, until Chase stopped lying to himself that he was going to stop.

He wasn’t sure what the endgame was here. Eventually, he was going to have to cut off communication, or come clean to Gert and hope she didn’t stand by her stance that he was a loser who didn’t deserve to breathe the same air as her. But he wasn’t ready for that. Wasn’t ready to let go of the one good thing in his life, ill-advised and tenuous as it was. Wasn’t ready to say goodbye to the warm glow in his chest whenever her name popped up on his phone – or a version of it, at least, because he’d changed her contact to _Marie Curie_ as a reminder not to slip up.

Especially not on a night like tonight, when Victor Stein had raised his hands and his voice and Chase had flinched like a scared ten-year-old. He was stronger now – maybe stronger than his father – but he would never be as cruel, which meant Victor would probably always have the upper hand.

He hoped, anyway. If he ever raised a hand to hurt someone he claimed to love, Chase was more than ready to jump right off a bridge and spare the world any more misery.

He’d sworn he wouldn’t do this, bring Gert into this world, show her the dark parts of his life. Gert was smart, the smartest person he knew, and he always suspected that maybe she suspected. But he shielded her from the truth, shielded all of them, or maybe he was shielding himself from their judgment, their pity, the possibility that his father was right about him being worthless and everyone else already knew it, too polite to say it out loud.

There was nothing but risk – the risk that she would see through his lie, that he would scare her away, ruin this like he did everything else. But he couldn’t distract himself tonight, he needed more than that, and this was _Gert_ ; she would never turn her back on someone who needed help. Chase didn’t know her anymore, not really, but he was confident that would never change.

_I’m having a bad night._

_I’m here._ Her response was almost immediate, and he let out the breath he didn’t know he was holding. Those words were comforting in a way he couldn’t explain – he would have appreciated them coming from anyone, but with Gert, they were like a lifeline.

She had always been that person – _his_ person. The one he turned to, on instinct, for reassurance; the one whose presence and attention he craved; the person who made everything better. She couldn’t possibly know that since he’d torpedoed their friendship, but it was still the truth.

Maybe one day he would tell her. But not tonight.

_Things at home. They’re not always good. They’re usually not good, actually. I don’t really want to get into the details. I just can’t wait until I’m old enough to get far away from here._

_Are you safe? Like, do you need me to call 911 or anything?_

Fuck, the absolute last thing he needed was for the cops to show up and get charmed by Victor Stein’s celebrity. He didn’t even want to think about what would follow a conversation like that. His hands were unsteady as he quickly typed back, _No, no, I’m okay. I’m safe. But thank you._

_Okay. I’m sorry. Whatever happened tonight, you didn’t deserve it._

He sucked in a breath. Gert, the enemy of social injustice, champion of the underdog. Always. He wished he had the same confidence, but Chase was pretty sure his father had beaten it out of him years ago, if it was ever there to begin with. _You don’t know that. You don’t know me._

_No, I don’t. But nobody deserves to feel unsafe in their own home._

Logically, he knew she was right. He’d seen the way Gert and Molly acted around their parents, always slightly embarrassed by Dale and Stacey’s antics, but relaxed. Trusting. They knew they were loved for who they were, despite their flaws or even because of them, and Chase had often wondered what that would feel like. He could never quite nail it down.

Chase clicked his phone off and placed it on his chest, his fingers tapping on the hard case. He didn’t know how to respond, didn’t know how far down he was willing to go into this. Gert deserved to know everything, but everything was too much. It was too much even for him, so he’d buried it. The only person who knew everything was his mom, and she always took his father’s side. If the person who was supposed to love him most in the world didn’t care about what was happening to him, why would anyone else? Why would Gert? She thought he was an idiot, another entitled rich kid with no concern for anyone but himself, and he couldn’t even blame her for that. It was a persona he’d worked pretty hard to cultivate.

His phone buzzed again, and Chase suddenly realized that ten minutes had passed and Gert was probably a nervous wreck. _You could call me. If you need someone to talk to. That would be okay._

Chase wanted that so much. Wanted to hear her voice, to confess every secret he’d been holding onto for sixteen years, to expel all the dark thoughts in his head, to believe her when she told him that his father was a monster and none of this was his fault – because he was fairly sure that was what she would say.

But it _was_ his fault that he was handling it alone. He was selfish and scared and he’d pushed Gert away, hard – pushed them all away. And there was no one on earth to blame for that but him.

So he did what he always did when he found himself missing Gert.

Absolutely nothing.

* * *

_Can you please just let me know that you’re okay? We don’t have to talk anymore. I’m just worried about you._

Of course she was. He’d made a giant mistake – gotten too personal, let her too close – and then disappeared. Gert was probably picturing the absolute worst-case scenario after not hearing from him for three straight days.

Chase hated the thought of her worrying about him – he wasn’t worth that. He shot back a quick text just to calm her mind. _I’m fine. Thanks. It’s not that I don’t want to talk anymore, I just_

He deleted the message and started again. _I’m fine._

_Okay. I’m sorry if I said anything that upset you. Stay safe._

Chase sighed, banging his head back against the locker. This wasn’t Gert’s fault – none of this had ever been her fault. But he didn’t know how to tell her that without revealing himself. No one ever truly bought the _it’s not you, it’s me_ line, especially not someone with Gert’s anxiety and self-doubt.

He would just be one more person who dropped out of her life without an explanation, not once but twice, and fuck, that wasn’t fair. He’d started this, asked her for her friendship and she’d offered it willingly, and he was hiding like a coward. She didn’t deserve his baggage. But she did deserve the truth.

* * *

Chase’s breath caught in his throat.

The sun was low – it was getting dark so early lately – and Gert practically glowed in the golden light. His heart always skipped a little when he saw her, under any circumstances, but in times like this, he was reminded how gorgeous she really was.

He’d hung back after practice, mentally steeling himself to go home, and he was shocked to find anyone else left at the school, especially her. She was standing on the sidewalk, biting her nails like she always did when she was stressed out about something. Shit, maybe she wasn’t okay. Chase finally compelled his feet to move in her direction, clearing his throat so he wouldn’t startle her. “Hey.”

Her eyes widened when she saw him, just a little, but Chase thought he might have imagined it when her face smoothed out and she looked at him blankly. “Hey.”

“What are you still doing here?”

“Uh, I stayed late to meet with the principal about some of my new initiatives. I was gonna call an Uber, but…” She shook her phone in her hand. “Dead.”

Chase raised an eyebrow. “Were you planning on staying out here all night?”

“I was…figuring it out,” she said defiantly, pushing up her glasses with her finger. “I didn’t think anyone else was still here.”

“Well, I was. I can give you a ride, if you want.” Chase’s voice wavered a little on the last word and he hoped she didn’t notice. He was unbelievably nervous around her. They’d been Tesla and Curie for weeks now; he’d forgotten what it felt like to be Gert and Chase.

“Can I use your phone to get an Uber? I’ll Venmo you the money or whatever.” Chase nodded, trying not to feel stung by the fact that she would rather wait twenty minutes for a stranger than ride with him. He supposed he’d earned that. This was hard and awkward, and Gert had every right to keep him at arm’s length.

“You don’t have to pay me back,” he said, feeling like an absolute idiot as he handed over his phone. That wasn’t important. That wasn’t nearly the most important thing that he needed to say. If she wouldn’t accept a ride from him, maybe he could insist on staying with her until her Uber showed up – who knew when he would get the chance to be alone with her again?

“Oh, wait, it’s Tuesday,” Gert murmured, more to herself than to him, but it still broke him out of his daze. When she spoke, he always listened. “I think Stacey’s home, I’ll just text her to come get me.”

Chase processed her words a second too late. “Gert, wait,” he blurted out, fully prepared to snatch the phone from her hands and make up some excuse later. Literally anything to avoid making her find out this way.

But he was too slow, just like he was with everything – too slow to dodge his father’s fists, too slow to recover after Amy’s death and hold his friends together, too slow to protect Gert from the truth. She stepped back, out of his reach, as her eyes hardened and her jaw went tight. Gert was staring at the screen like it had personally murdered her family, and Chase was going to throw up right there on the sidewalk. “Why do you have these?”

Chase was charming and more intelligent than most people realized, which meant he was great at talking himself out of tough situations. But right now…he had nothing. He swallowed, his mouth suddenly dry. “Gert.”

“Oh my god,” Gert breathed, shaking her head, orange light reflecting off purple hair. “Oh my god, I’m so stupid.”

“Gert,” he repeated, cautiously, like he was trying to talk down a cornered animal. “I was going to tell you.”

“Was this funny to you? Some kind of stupid practical joke? I thought you were fucking _hurt_ , Chase. I thought…you know what? Congratulations. You’re even more of an asshole than I thought you were.”

Chase winced, the venom in her voice burning straight through him. “It wasn’t a joke. I’ll explain if you stop yelling at me-.”

“I don’t want you to explain!” She shoved the phone into his hands, walking backward in the opposite direction as she shouted, “I want you to leave me alone until we graduate, and I never have to see you again. Don’t follow me.”

He didn’t. He’d already ruined this enough.

* * *

She was ignoring his messages.

There was some karmic justice in that. But even if she was serious, and fully intended to never talk to him again for the rest of their lives, she had to know that it wasn’t a joke. That she’d been there for him when he needed her, and he was genuinely grateful for that. She wasn’t stupid – she was a kind person with a good heart, regardless of the razor sharp image she liked to present to the world.

Chase hoped he could get her to come around on the not talking to him thing, too. He knew he’d screwed up, so many times and in so many ways, but he didn’t know how to accept the possibility of losing Gert permanently. He wasn’t sure what his life would look like without her. He wasn’t interested in finding out.

It took five days and nine apologetic messages, but Gert was in his backyard on Sunday morning, hands buried in the pockets of her sweatshirt as she paced. He’d run downstairs at her _Come outside_ text, forcing himself to slow down as he approached her. She already looked jittery, like she was five seconds away from changing her mind. “Gert,” he panted, feeling a little breathless, from the running or from her or maybe both. “I’m really glad you’re here.”

“Yeah, well.” She shrugged, looking anywhere but at him – the pool, the flowers, the hanging bag he’d set up back there for exercise. “You won’t stop texting me.”

“I thought you blocked me.”

“I considered it.”

“I’m sorry,” Chase said quickly, worried he might not get everything off his chest before Gert made up an excuse to leave. “I know you asked me to leave you alone, and I want to respect that, but I have to explain. And if you still don’t want to talk to me after that, I promise I’ll listen.”

Gert nodded, biting her lip as she looked up at him through her eyelashes, and _wow_. Everyone always raved about the view from their house, the stretch of water sparkling under the sun, but it was nothing compared to her.

“So?” she prompted, and oh right, he was supposed to be talking.

“Yeah, um. Okay. That first night…I honestly didn’t mean to text you. I thought I was texting Lucas, but then you responded, and you didn’t have my new number yet, and...” Chase cleared his throat, bracing himself. “I _was_ having a bad night, Gert. The second time, too. I didn’t lie about that. And talking to you just made everything better. I knew I missed you, but I didn’t really know how much until you were back in my life. Even in a small way.”

“Chase…” she started, but he held up a hand.

“I lied about who I was, but I promise everything else was real. I needed to talk to a friend. No,” he shook his head, “No, I needed to talk to you. But I couldn’t just tell you that. You hated me. Which I deserve, after the way I’ve treated you. The way I let other people treat you. That’s a whole other thing that I’m not sure I can even tackle right now, but…I don’t know, I thought maybe if you realized the guy you knew was still in there somewhere, you’d hate me a little less. And if you hate me even more now, then I get that too.” He felt a little dizzy and paused his rambling to take a breath. “I just wanted you to know that I didn’t do it to hurt you. It wasn’t a prank. I needed someone, and you were a good friend. I appreciate it. That’s it.”

Gert was looking at him intently, like she was searching for a tell, some hint that this was all an elaborate game. But she wouldn’t find one. This was the most honest Chase had been with another human being in years, and it was terrifying and liberating. “So, all that stuff about things not being good at home…” she said finally, sneaking a glance toward the house, even though they both knew his parents were out. “That was real?”

“Yeah,” he managed past the lump in his throat. “Please don’t tell anyone. My dad doesn’t get physical with me anymore, he’s just an asshole. I can deal with it until I leave for college.”

“Anymore?” Gert pursed her lips, her entire body tensing. Chase cringed; he hadn’t meant to let that slip. “I’m going to kill him.”

“Gert, it’s okay. Honestly. I mean…” He shrugged. “No. It’s not okay. I know that. But it really helped. Having someone to talk to about it.”

Her eyes fluttered shut, and she blew out a breath, presumably battling the temptation to vandalize his father’s entire fleet of cars with a switchblade. “Chase, I would have been here for you,” she said, her eyes landing on him again. “If you wanted to be friends, I would’ve said yes. I never _hated_ you. Trust me, I wanted to. Things would be easier if I did. I thought you hated me.”

“No. Hell no.” God, he was such an idiot. Gert was the most important person in the world to him. Chase hated himself for making her doubt that; he should have been telling her every moment of every day. “I miss you, Gert. Being your friend. Talking to you again has been the one really good thing in my life.”

She sighed, brushing a few strands of hair out of her face. “I liked talking to you too. I spent so much time wondering who you were, what you were like…I can’t believe I didn’t realize it was you. It should have been obvious, right?”

“Yeah. Well. We don’t know each other that much anymore.” Chase shifted his weight, working up the courage to say what he really needed to say. “I’d like to, though. Know you again. Be friends again.”

Gert hesitated, and Chase kicked himself. Of course she wasn’t ready for this, not after everything he’d done, he was stupid to think she would forgive him that easily-.

She took a few steps forward, sliding her arms around his neck and crashing his train of thought. Chase responded instinctively, his arms circling her waist, holding her close to him as she pressed her face into his shoulder. He felt her steady breathing against his chest, and suddenly the world was safe, nothing was wrong and they were the only people that mattered.

He had so much more to tell her – there was always more to say when it came to Gert, two years of things left unspoken, but that was okay. He knew what she was trying to say without words as she hugged him tightly.

They would have time.


End file.
